"Adventures, I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have just landed in them, usually...I expect they had a lot of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten."

-Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings

Thursday, March 31, 2011

And then it happened

I want to preface this post with this; I had no problems working on bonding with Alina, and I loved her from the very second I seen her sweet face. However....

Its hard getting to know a new little person. Heck, its hard getting to know a new big person. Especially when this person doesn't speak your language, has delays, and depends on you for 100% of their care. Initially it was hard, getting to know each other while trying to give loving care around the clock. It did feel a bit like babysitting some days and it was frustrating trying to love and care for someone who had no idea HOW to be loved and cared for. She knew she wanted it and liked it, but it was overwhelming to her too.

I craved those special warm thoughts and memories I had with the boys. I wanted to smile thinking of a baby Alina, a sweet memory from our past together. But they weren't there. Most days it seems she's always been here, forever in our lives from her first breath, but I couldn't make up memories, we had to live them first

But then it happened.

I conjured up a warm fuzzy memory today. And it brought tears to my eyes.

Alina will turn 4yrs old on Saturday. I can hardly believe it... seems like only yesterday we were saying 'She's in EE and she just turned 3yrs old!' :) But thinking today of our first weeks together, remembering the first time she fell asleep on me in the rocking chair.... I went all warm and fuzzy. And the bond was sealed.

3 comments:

IASoupMama said...

Yay -- how wonderful! She might not have been born of your body, but it's clear that she was reborn of your heart...

Hilary Marquis said...

Yay for mommy and Alina!

Danielle said...

This just made me cry. What a wonderful, wonderful moment. I hope to experience this some day with an adopted child. <3