"Adventures, I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have just landed in them, usually...I expect they had a lot of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten."

-Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings

Saturday, February 19, 2011

On being snowballed- a warning for prospective adoptive parents

Have you ever had a 'friend', and then later found out you were totally snowballed? Someone who you thought the best of and then had the rug pulled right out from under you?

Well that has happened to me. And in the process not only did my name get slandered over an accusation that is completely false, but I have also been excluded from something that was very important to me. All because someone, instead of fessing up or walking away, dragged me into something I had no part of or wanted any part of.

These are the type of people who can completely sabotage someone's adoption. A family who is completely unsuspecting and innocent can be caught up in something they have no part in and unknowingly get their adoption completely ruined.

So, if you are an adopting family and get involved in a third party who seems to know alot about your area, think twice before getting too close. And when you get to your childs country, never drop names of anyone unless its a past family or your team you are working with. Be cautious of the term 'missionairy'. Things work very differently in other countries, and having someone not like something you say or do can ruin your adoption. They also don't think as highly of some people as we may here in the USA.

Sometimes its innocent, sometimes its not. At the time I got a warning I felt that whatever had happened was innocent, probably a misunderstanding, and not done to be deceitful or mean. It didn't affect me and I left it alone. However now I know that it was done to be seen as a great person, and instead of owning up, tracks were covered, and I was brought into it with no knowledge of what happened to begin with.

Please be careful, adoptive parents. Toe the line while paperchasing and traveling. Be cautious of those who try to intercede or be too helpful. Because you don't want to be caught in the wake of something like this in country or in the middle of your adoption. Use your head but also trust your facilitation team.


Leah S. said...

Gee, were you booted from somewhere? Two somewheres? So was I. For no reason. I have no idea why, and no explanation was given.

Amy said...

Well, now that we're starting the journey to you-know-who, I sure am curious about what in the world you're talking about!

Allison said...

Is everything okay?