"Adventures, I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have just landed in them, usually...I expect they had a lot of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten."

-Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Deep in thought.... high on stress

As I type this tonight, our girl is probably just waking up to explore her Wednesday. She has no idea that on the other side of the world she has a family who loves her so very much. A family who can't stop thinking about her, who is working very hard to get her home as fast as possible. She doesn't know that there are thousands of people praying for her. She will go about her day as usual, and for now all we can do is pray that God places a warmth in her heart, a knowing that we are coming for her. And pray that God continues to bless her, and bless us, as we continue this journey.

I've had some down time in the paperchase, and that turns my mind into overload. When I'm busy, I don't have time to worry or stress. But with this downtime waiting for a paper to come in, the last paper we need to complete our dossier, I stress. I worry. I'm relying on God, and right now many things are weighing heavy on my heart. I feel so selfish worrying about our adoption when there are people battling cancer, children dying..... so much more in the world. I worry about someone getting sick, I worry about myself getting sick. Things are going so well and that scares me. God is in control, and he has a master plan. I've been so good lately about 'letting go and letting God', and he has for sure blessed us beyond belief. So why am I worried?

I worry about traveling. I pray our family stays healthy and that our girl can come home and get all that she needs and deserves. I pray the boys transition well. I pray for everyone else who is adopting right now, that their journeys end happily.

Downtime doesn't do me well. I know so many are praying for us already.... but could you please pray that I can relax a bit? Trying to do everything at once hasn't been good for me.


Corinne said...

I have felt all the same worries ! It is just amazing when something is right you feel the hand of God all around you and you let those worries go !I am so feeling this miracle as I visit my children a half a world away from my home and yet feel so at ease and peace. I KNOW the same will happen to you too Becky !

IASoupMama said...

I am sending good, relaxing thoughts your way, though I know all will be fine because your daughter is simply meant to be in your life. ((( hug )))

Hilary Marquis said...

Oh how well I remember the "icky downtime"...You are in "mom mode", you are supposed to think of your baby girl! It is not silly or selfish to want happiness, safety, security, & love for her :) I'm praying for peace and calm in your heart tonight and I'll see you guys tomorrow!

Leah said...

Dropping in to introduce myself. I'm another MN mom, just starting the adoption process (through Serbia) I'm mom to a bunch, but the only one left at home is 14 year old Angela who has Down syndrome. The girl we're adopting from Serbia (if it ever HAPPENS!) has Apert syndrome.