"Adventures, I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have just landed in them, usually...I expect they had a lot of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten."

-Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Jealousy

Have you ever felt it? I hate the feeling... seeing someone with a nice new vehicle. Or someone who can afford to pay a company to do things like finish their basement or landscape their yard. Recently I've been feeling it when I see someone else buying the pretty dress I was just looking at, or the mom who seems to have it all together all the time. Someone who is completing their adoption while you are still waiting.....

I hate feeling jealous. Sometimes its just a fast passing wave, and sometimes I have to work very hard to snap myself out of the completely consuming feeling. When its the latter, it makes me feel down all day. Not because of the things I want and can't yet have, but because of the jealousy itself. I shouldn't feel like that, so why do I? I don't particularily LIKE the feeling. Once in a while I just have one of those days where I just let myself wallow in it. Other times I can shake it off without a second thought.

Don't get me wrong.... I wouldn't change a thing about my life! But hey, a few more dollars here and there wouldn't hurt. Completing our family surely wouldn't hurt!

I suppose its just one of those things. But 'don't covet thy neighbor' often smacks me in the head daily (sometimes multiple times a day) and it is something I seem to be struggling with lately.

5 comments:

IASoupMama said...

Many, many hugs, dear friend. I'm not sure I can give you any advice as I struggle with jealousy, too. But I'll always empathize with you...

Kayce said...

You are not alone my friend. Jealousy is awful and too time consuming. Lots of hugs.

Maria said...

I spent some time while waiting delving into the pond of jealousy, my friend. I think it is natural, even though we are commanded not to. Know that I am praying for you!!

Monica said...

I agree sometimes it's a fleeting moment but I have also spent MONTHS of my life consumed with it at times as well. It IS awful isn't it. It's hard to shake though when it comes over you. Even NOW that we are just about to complete our adoption... I am envious of others whose adoption journeys went more quickly or who I felt I was racing against and they are going to be home with their child sooner. You truly are not alone in this life struggle. (((hugs)))

Ben and Trina said...

You are definitely not alone but God does have a plan. Waiting for that perfect plan is part of growing. Jeremiah 29:11 ((hugs))