"Adventures, I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have just landed in them, usually...I expect they had a lot of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten."

-Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings

Friday, September 18, 2009

Booo

I've been very cynical lately, feeling pretty down about adoption. You know those dreams where you are standing in front of a crowd in your undies? This is nothing like that. This is more like being a rabbit on a closed course with the carrot just out of your reach. No matter how much you run and jump and chase that carrot, its always just out of your reach.

When we started this adoption, we in no way went into it thinking the process would be smooth or easy. We knew better. It took us a few months to just decide on a program that we qualified for. Then you start the paperwork. Then you wait. Then the program gets shut down right in your face!

When we finally started our paperwork for Kyrgyz, I had bought a new charm for my Italian charm bracelet. It was the Kyrgyz flag. I was so excited to get it! When we went to DC/Pennsylvania for my sisters wedding, the little flag charm was broken, and lost. I was really disappointed, the whole way home, thinking I should have looked in the suite more to find it. Then it all became clear a few weeks later, when the program went into hold. God was just preparing me.

ANYWAY, I'm rambling now. We changed programs to a domestic foster/adopt, its been a little over a year since we started this process, and its getting to that season where I feel very family oriented. We expected to have our girl home by now.. when we started Kyrgyz.

So while I may feel like a rabbit chasing a carrot, I'd gladly stand in front of a crowd in my undies right now if it meant having our girl home. Though I'm pretty sure most of them would be cowering with their eyes covered.

1 comment:

Corinne said...

I totally understand ! it is so hard hoping it will be our turn soon. We are getting close to two years since we officially started on our journey.Even though I wonder if it will ever happen I continue to hope as difficult as it is to wait.